Thursday, May 25, 2023

Report on meeting at MayDay Rooms, 10 May 2023



We met at MayDay Rooms. The conversation as minuted below has the character of most collective discussions – it is digressive and represents several simultaneous ‘tempos’ of thought and argument, as people return to previous contributions or branch off in new directions. Via the discussion of Berger on ‘living with the dead’ in the images of Marketa Luskacova, much of the talk circled around questions of commemoration and mass death. There were difficult moments in this exchange. Tempers frayed and some of the participants became visibly frustrated. Hard to know how to describe this. Some of us felt more personally involved with the material under discussion than others. Distinct lattices of emotional connection or relevance underlay a conversation that could seem speculative, ‘high level’ and digressive. What feels like an innocent question to one person is perceived as an act of almost deliberate carelessness to another. Possibly a central tension arose between the language of ‘politics’ and the language of ‘ethics’: the two modes contend over the experienced reality (the ‘territory’) of death, and each contests the claims of the other. What are the limits of ‘politics’? What are the limits of ‘ethics’? Perhaps neither is adequate: but then the question wasn’t framed at the meeting in these terms anyway. We ended with thoughts about the unbound/inarticulate/unspeakable.   

  • Lundi Matin piece: <https://lundi.am/Pour>. We began by reading this: ‘The shrink, psychoanalyst, psychotherapist, let's call him what we want, insofar as he doesn't just give medication, and he listens to us, has recently entered our lives in a more collective way. Until now, you had to have been marked by something in life, have symptoms that you never talked about, bad half-shameful childhood stories – for this experience to be imposed, for you to be forced to 'go. We had that space somewhere in his private life. It was the space of the care of private life and memory and of a certain form of individual cursing – except for the intellectuals who thought they were learning interesting and enriching things about their castration or filiation problem. I simplify. For some time, since the pandemic but even before, for a few years the lines have become blurred and we have been less successful, we have no longer succeeded too much in making the difference between personal pain and collective pain; between psychic pain and political destruction. Each and everyone slowly started going crazy, crazy. We have witnessed an evolution of society and murderous capitalism, we have become more or less voluntary seismographs of an evil whose consciousness has crossed the layers of the psyche to go very, very deep within us. inside. Consciousness failed to prevent penetration into the deeper layers. With the destruction of society and the explosion of death drives during the period of great unbinding of the pandemic (social unbinding/digital overcommunication), psychic life took on another place. She found herself overexposed at the same time as social life closed. It would be necessary to be able to define this place: it manifests itself rather negatively, by definitive acts, decompensations, depressive and anxious symptoms, but also, just afterwards, just next to it, by a kind of affirmation which passes through the passivity of the disease only by the psychic action on the world, that is to say by affects, conflicts, dreams, irrepressible expressions, passions and accelerations, an awareness of oneself, of life and of sudden death intensified, of friendship and love like we've never been closer. As if we had never been so emotionally and collectively close to things, never so fragile and sensitive.’

  • Yes, that seems helpful to me. Usefulness of thinking about unbinding. There’s the sense of the end of the ‘defend Russia’ perspective as one point of political confusion, but also the background of unbinding from political meanings in relation to the experience of mass death during the Pandemic.  

  • Re: The Luskacova photos of Spitalfields differ from the images discussed in the Berger. Implicit injunction: Don’t make these images homogeneous with your experience of time, your time. Otherwise they might be compatible with liberalism – ideas of pity, preconceived ideas of class. Where does the injunction come from? From the subjects of the photos themselves; sometimes from their eyes, sometimes not. This has to do with emotion that hasn’t yet been processed into regularised meanings.   

  • The images were taken in a flea market that was outside the normal terms of control and administration. 

  • Is it about the photographer imposing this view? What is the best language for the relation between photographer and subject? Is it one that involves the agency of the subjects? Perhaps that language is also meaningless. In some of the images you can see a positive interest on the part of the photographer - for instance when some of the subjects think they are being photographed and ‘posing’ but the focus is on others. 

  • Relative to the Killip photographs – the images are more interested in composition and those compositions include some kind of message that can be deciphered. Less so in the Luskacova, where what we see is the people in themselves. 

  • Berger: ‘the people trusted her, more than that they allowed her to become intimate’. 

  • In the Spitalfields images – possible to feel some nostalgia for a life I didn’t live. But is the relationship Berger describes between the photographed and the dead also relevant for the Spitalfields images? Is this to do with peasant life? 

  • People living in the streets in these images will have been closer to death or more intimate with death than others. 

  • Berger suggests the images fail when people have an interest in seeing themselves as they are – it is their lack of concern with the photographer that allows the images to succeed. 

  • [Attempting to step back and introduce more general considerations:] thinking about the meaning of ‘forgotten political experience’ – Audre Lorde as discussed by Gail Lewis and ‘world-sense’. Is there something in how the people Luskacova photographs in Pilgrims that could remind us of pieces of our history that we have forgotten. What about the ‘loosening of the oneness of the self’, not in favour of a specific collectivity, but some much larger thing. The photographers take time ‘not to be thought of outsiders’ – a dwelling together. The question of the forces that make it difficult for us to speak to one another, raised on the Reports blog – to speak with one another with various measures of openness. We are testing out with one another what and how much we can say about the different areas of the left. 

  • If you are dwelling with the dead as Berger suggests that one might, it is harder to hold on to an idea of one’s total difference or uniqueness. The connection here again to the Gail Lewis piece. 

  • If contra Berger’s peasant society, we have been through a mass death event and live in a society that refuses or disallows commemoration, perhaps we should avoid noting similarity or continuity.

  • What would it mean for us to be in some relation to the dead? To avoid remembering as a scanning backwards towards a static past defined in relation to a static now? How to be in any relation to the many dead? 

  • I see two approaches to commemoration - a simple and a complex approach. The images Berger writes about are complex. Simple approach: the Vietnam war memorial in the USA. A simple shape and then names are added to the structure. A similar project for trees that had died due to climate change. The dead trees are left to rot in public parks. Something is made visible in simple terms. Does this approach help? Hard to think dialectically about this. 

  • There’s something about listing names that doesn’t reach to individual experiences of death. There’s something about not knowing people’s names and still wanting and needing to have a kind of relation to what’s happening. I think of the NGO-maintained list of the names of the people who have died due to Fortress Europe border policies. Many people in this list were never unidentified. A commonality in the absence of being able to form a relation – I question the need for names and details of individuals. What can be done with states of anonymity, or with people who are not known, not identifiable?

  • The relationship between numbers and names – during the pandemic, you got the numbers every day. What was this about? If it’s remembering, it’s a hyperrational and secularised form. Naming *as* counting.    

  • Liberalism tends to get hung up on raw material data relating to an atrocity, rather than meaning. 

  • I think for instance of the clearance of people by brute force from Scotland and parts of Ireland during the eighteenth century. I don’t share the scepticism about numbers. I think we need to know how many families were shipped overnight to Newfoundland or Australia. I think we do need to know this. 

  • I recently saw the Steve McQueen film about Grenfell at the Serpentine. McQueen grew up in the area; before the building was covered in its current cladding, he filmed it, homing in from the affluent districts in the north. The sound drops away as the camera reaches the tower. Names aren’t included in the video but they are on the wall in the next room. This piece and his work about Grenada seem extremely strong as approaches to this issue of the closeness of death and how to be in real contact with it. 

  • Relation to the exemplary individual death - Alan Kurdi on the Turkish coast. That kind of liberal piety. But also the relation of this to the mass movement and its martyrology – US 2021, Iran 2022, Tunisia, Egypt etc. 

  • I want to defend naming – a way of making proximity to the dead. Naming is a fundamental linguistic process. Maybe it doesn’t matter if it’s also done in the NYT. Do we want a secular way of relating to the dead?  

  • There’s a question of responsibility here    

  • Death is the programme of austerity – does this create a sense in which it is unjustifiable to be alive, in some way? Obviously that is a sensitive thought – needs to be discussed carefully. Lisa and Danny’s conversation on Sean’s Our Death. 

  • How can we name no one when we’ve made so many people no one? We can’t name no one, said Celan. Why always the focus on covid when so many people are dying at sea etc. It makes me angry.  

  • There’s always the ‘say her name’ BLM chant/slogan. 

  • I find the naming more meaningful when it is etched on the faces of the living and not onto dead material.

  • Who do we preserve things for? Do the subjects of the photographs care? I don’t know…

  • What about the Weiss quote? ‘Later, after we achieved political understanding, our hatred grew more intense, we began purposefully fighting those who tried to hold us down, annihilate us. We were guided by a cold, homicidal repulsion. Very seldom did we find this sensation articulated in art, in literature’ – is there a way of thinking about the relationship to Luskacova? 

  • Worth thinking about the materiality of film - the light entering the lens, leaving a mark on the film. Different with digital photography, also with memory. You lose the physicality of the imprint. It’s harder to erase film. Abundance wipes out meaning. Is there a sense in which the images are ‘homicidal’ in Weiss’s sense – in relation to the working class? And perhaps in relation to their subjects, also – poverty is also a form of annihilation.

  • [there is a difficult passage of the conversation here: some participants respond with pain to the idea of the word ‘homicidal’ being in any way relevant to Luskacova’s images]

  • Where might they be shown? The idea of them being shown at the Tate aggravates me. 

  • Two photographers working on Ridley Road – trying to collaborate with people and give them power *or* preemptively memorialising people who are in fact still alive? The photographer can make choices; these are political.   

  • Photography needs to be a part of a political struggle – to enter into political struggle. 

  • I feel the same, but it might be the case that what some photographs do – we haven’t found the forms of struggle that are needed. To read off the ‘political potential’ of photographs might miss what they are calling on us to feel, think and do. 

  • The video of George Floyd’s murder had political power and helped to sustain momentum. 

  • But these were also videos of murder - as images in this genre always are. The photographs are in a complex way helping people to survive. Feeling, thinking and doing are important verbs – what about being? The Pasolini essay on the being of the faces of his subjects. The Gospel of St Matthew: the almost transcendental relationship to the face. Also the history of the Italian subjects – the beings – who Pasolini was filming. 

  • This is helpful in that it brings back the question from the beginning, of relation to one’s own political thinking. It’s about not just changing your thinking but also changing who you are.

  • The question of co-optation – what does it mean if the images are shown at the Tate. But don’t we want those people to visit the Tate to change also? (The exhibition was free.)

  • I still don’t think it’s useful to talk about Luskacova’s images in terms of their political potential – they record something as yet unarticulated in politics, unavailable to politics.

  • [Some disagreement about this.]

  • Maybe worth thinking about when they were taken – in the late 70s, before mass gentrification. Politics perhaps has more vocabulary + forms now for what Luskacova was doing. 

  • The images represent a not-yet space, like in the Gail Lewis text: art can do this. 

  • A big portion of the present situation is not intelligible. 

  • The relationship between the need for patience to get at Weiss’ ‘babble’ and the urgency of the situation. A contradiction that can’t be wished away. 

  • There’s a lot of unspeakable feeling that is entwined with but not the same as the social – the question of unbinding. 

  • Capitalism brainwashes us into thinking trauma etc. are individual issues when they’re not. Portraiture is not bourgeois because the individual is not individual. 

  • ‘It, the language, remains, not lost, yes, in spite of everything, but it had to pass through its own answerlessness, its own muting … it had passed through this happening. Passed through and had come to light again (Celan); Aichinger: ‘I have only one language and it’s not mine. Language is something that does not belong’.     



Proposals for next time: 


  • Pasolini’s poem ‘Victory’, on the dead and the problems of politics and of being. 

  • Text by Lis Rhodes of the London filmmakers’ co-op on history.


Response to a response ['On Denial'] [DH]



[A response to this, which is a response to this]


Dear Will,

Thank you for responding, for opening this up into a conversation. I think you’re right to push us back towards things that are actually happening: the ‘conditions which determine our situation’. Those are the hardest things to talk about, but I’ll try at least to follow you in their direction.
 

You say that there are damage-events that are denied that nevertheless
can be expressed, but only by ‘thought-figures’ that are strictly ‘non-exchangeable’. It follows from this (clearly) that these are difficult to analyse, or even just to name. If they do emerge into a common and transmittable vocabulary, they are no longer fully perceived. Your finger is chopped off in a poorly lit factory. You name that experience an experience of class. But this thought-figure of class is exchangeable almost by definition, and this creates a political problem that is itself difficult to talk about, and easy to deny (I’d be really happy if you would say more about your thinking about this.)   

So what is that ‘political problem’? Partly it’s that in demanding that our own damage-events be taken up into shared political language, we get stuck in a cycle of misrecognition. In this case, we need the basic concepts of shared political analysis
to do something that they were never intended to do, which is to address the innermost recesses of our individual experiences of loss, or grief. I’ve seen what happens in that cycle. People double down into endless attempts to extort from their shared language a kind of personal recognition, of their ‘own’ personal damage-event (lost fingers literal and figurative), as if they were trying to win damages in the small claims court of their own private interiority. And there is (as you put it) some minor ‘satisfaction’ here, in the feeling that your pain is inexpressible in our language, a reassuring sense of personal distinction -- but pretty inevitably that satisfaction drifts off in the direction of quietism, or reactionary thinking, or a cocktail of both, a species of banal would-be-aristocratic anti-politics in which there is nothing but pain, glittering and seductively irremediable. Sometimes this is me. A friend writes: ‘I remember thinking once that to be a communist you'd have to believe people could change’. And I think I now believe that dignity is a big part of the problem, that the tacit claim that ‘your’ pain confers dignity on you, and allows you to make special kinds of demands, is a LIE, and that the idea your pain should be respected and dignified is a ANOTHER LIE, and that the general assumption that ‘political ideas’ are obliged to wear tuxedos and carry your pain around like some kind of funeral bier is A WORTHLESS LIE and needs to be TRODDEN UNDERFOOT like those stupid tuxedoes themselves and all of the hierarchical yearnings they represent. Shit is inexpressible, and ‘political concepts’ are always flimsy and gossamerlike, but I would rather parade through the street in them laughing at my nakedness than take them to fucking court for damages. Humourlessness will destroy us. 

Towards the end of your letter you talk about Rimbaud’s unbinding as a ‘basic element of Leftist tradition: to break all moorings’. You also say that we presently
feel unmoored, that this unmooring is the default, and that we ‘should acknowledge the unmooring of ideas from their historical basis, right down to the linkage of words in their phrasing’. This recalls to my mind Stephen Hastings-King’s metaphor in the text we discussed in our first MDR meeting: ‘we float’, SH-K wrote, ‘like plankton … near the surface of an online sea’. And so unmooring itself becomes unmoored, is no longer a call to rebellion as radical subjective unbinding. And the unmooring that seems nearest to us is not the unmooring we know from Rimbaud but the one that was immortalised in Mayakovsky’s suicide poem (in which ‘the love boat has smashed against convention’), or the devastatingly prosaic unmooring of tiny isolated floating organisms which serve as food for larger and more complex systems. Capital, for example.

‘Plankton, meaning to drift, or wander in a sea’.

So, is this part of what at the end of your letter you call ‘confusion’: that we no longer know what it means to ‘rebel’?  The mark made on our intellectual lives by years of fascist provocation is obviously relevant here, but there are other things at stake too. In the first draft of the reply I wrote to you, I finished by saying that ‘for a long time I've felt really sick, and now I feel less so, and I want to try to talk about why’. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about Ernst Bloch’s
The Principle of Hope, this giant luminescent encyclopaedia of images of the other world scattered through human history in fairytales and myths and scientific theories and music. Yesterday when I first tried to get down my response, I made an attempt to talk about this ‘hope’ in terms of space, and poetry. I wrote about Satan’s passage through chaos in Paradise Lost, and Pasolini’s ‘Testimony’ in which he describes walking ‘all night long’ through filthy suburbs in search of sex (‘the sex is a pretext’, he says), and about Alice Rahon, who says that ‘for a while now, I’ve lived inside a map on the wall’. And that wasn’t wrong, exactly, but the emphasis isn’t in the right place. What I want to describe to you is a feeling that there isn’t space anymore, that there isn’t space for us to think, that all of the available positions have been occupied already by something foul and that wherever we go we find ourselves in the same cramped room, surrounded by our enemies. And when in your email you point out to me that grifting conservative psychologists also instruct us ‘to accept the challenge of life’ (as, in one of my proselytising moods, I might also have done) I feel a trace of this claustrophobia rise up in me again, a thin sheet of panic that has been working its way through my body for years now, and which acquires another layer every time I try to think about what 'radical politics' is: and always there’s this sense that I’m standing in the middle of a room surrounded by people who I can’t bear, and if I try to move away from one person I move closer to another, and the doors on either side of the room are marked ‘acceptance’ and ‘denial’, and both lead into another identical room where the same problem is repeated.   

I said earlier that I want personal pain to be undignified, that I want to accept (not to
deny) that political concepts will cover it badly, that I want to accept that the pain will stick out or bulge in ways that seem unseemly or gross or ridiculous. I said that I want to find that fucking funny and for the comedy to be as it were ‘communally recognised’, and not a grounds for personal affront or retreat into vast vanilla terrain (a green area?) of aristocratic interior self-regard, disdain for mass politics, educated immunity to illusion etc. ‘For a long time I've felt really sick, and now I feel less so, and I want to try to talk about why’. And clearly this is a thought about how things fit together or don’t, and about what it means to talk about ‘coherence’, or ‘cohesiveness’. I’ve been reflecting alongside Bloch on the way Pier Paolo Pasolini could say the most reactionary things and yet expect them to mean something different to what they seemed to mean, because poetry in his conception opens up into the unexpected space inside of our own bodies and in political parties and suburbs and the ideas of reactionaries and teenage boys as well as Communists and mothers and lovers and streets, because he still knew how to rebel, or maybe just because he wasn’t afflicted by this mindless claustrophobia like us, which we only call ‘confusion’ because we’ve forgotten that there is something that needs to be done beyond organising concepts in their relations to each another, and because we no longer see that the more organised these concepts become the more ‘confused’ we tend to be, because each of them becomes more and more like a point on a grid or a node in a system of coordinates that have no internal dimensions and no field of possibilities and so no fucking principle of hope either. And we are trapped inside of those points, feeling claustrophobic and confused, wondering whether we should have started another one of those nice abstract conversations about feelings. THERE IS NO OUTSIDE TO INJURY, I write, thoughtfully.   

So at least now we have a list of terms. Incoherence, confusion – and claustrophobia. I'm tempted to say that we also have a list of counter-terms (coherence, lucidity, ability to move), but that feels too convenient and anyway like I say excessive 'coherence' is an aspect of claustrophobia and not its antidote. Rather I think the point should be about finding a way to move backwards through the sequence, from claustrophobia through confusion and back out again into the 'incoherence of life' where space opens up inside of things unexpectedly and it's a part of our (one might call it) 'intellectual training' to prepare ourselves -- meaning, to make sure we're ready when it happens. 

(Is this also the human basis for something like community justice: the ability to see the space opening up inside of people who are traversed by violence, or in whom we mark Blake's marks of weakness, marks of woe. I mean the ones for whom the reality of injury cannot be denied. I don't know what I think about this.)       

And can I try to lever a question out of all this. Is it possible to talk, Will, about the very large things that you mention at the end of your letter – ‘wars in Europe and the middle east; resurgence of oil and arms industries; postponement of any real, state-level action to resolve climate crisis; inability of states and ruling classes to guarantee survival; political chaos’ – or to oppose them – without feeling like that
they are themselves the walls that are closing in, the answers that have been poured like concrete into their questions, the wall of convention that Mayakovsky’s love boat smashes into? If I feel less mentally ‘sick’ now than I did (and if I keep repeating this it's because I want to convince myself that it’s true), it’s because I’ve stopped screaming at myself. I have stopped telling myself to piece things together. I am trying to meet things differently, to ask different questions of them. I don’t ask them to behave like keys. Does this make sense? ‘To know how to recognise and pick up the signs of power we are awaiting, which are everywhere’ (Tristan Tzara) -- and specifically Tzara says to pick them up, like radio signals in the air, rather than to bend them out of shape like picks for a self-invented lock in a single self-imposed theoretical door. I know this must sound stupidly obvious. But it is a principle of hope for me.   

D


***







Wednesday, May 17, 2023

Letter to Danny 14.5.23 (WR)

[This letter responds to the earlier blog post 'On Denial']

*

Dear Danny,

I address this to you as open dialogue. I want to reply to your recent piece in Reports. The title you give it is ‘On Denial’, a word with strong resonance in current time. I mean that denial has become that kind of word for me, and I will try to say why. 

There’s a subjective satisfaction in the act of denial. The one who says ‘it never happened’ invokes a certain power—like saying X didn’t happen, or not in the way ‘you say it happened’—the X could be Grenfell Tower, the event of it covered by a mass of legal procedure that wraps itself around justice; the ‘you’ being those who were burnt to death, or the voice that has to speak for them. That’s a case of implicit denial, the subjects being the companies that issued the cladding materials, the local council, the government, the majority of the media.

Inside the self, we know that denial manages to put something else in the place of damage suffered, something that can cover it while also perpetuating it. But there’s another kind of denial also, which doesn’t respond to knowing, since it expunges, removes the very space in which a thing has occurred or is occurring. This is not to say that the damage-event that’s denied is inexpressible; Fran Lock calls it horseflesh. But such forms of expression are strictly non-exchangeable. They are thought-figures which are forbidden to drift above themselves and be creamed off. Not allowing a thought-figure to drift into the sphere of exchange is a principle that gets laid down at the beginning of your poem Loading Terminal.

It’s very hard not to slide into some kind of denial inside the intractability of current crises—political, ecological but also crises of language and thought. Language exhausts itself quickly. I think I mean language in its function of ‘is’, of predication, of naming.

Freud’s notion of ‘binding’ came into the conversation at the recent Mayday Rooms meeting. Freud’s use of the term, where binding works in terms of ‘an energy which flows along chains of ideas and implies associative “links”’, suggests a possible cross-over between inner life and the political outside. When you write ‘there is no outside to an injury’ are you posing this as an outside where resolution might have been possible? I want to say that a wound with no outside is the pair of a situation with no solution—a situation where words are stuck in chains of association that perpetuate an impasse. Not that individual wound and social wound are homologous, but that they exist in a certain relation to each other. What kind of relation? The insistent trauma-talk of narcissistic selves falsifies the relation. Once you accept that life is suffering, you can accept the challenge of living. That’s Jordan Peterson speaking, and inside his voice the long history of voices that have said that suffering is an entirely internal matter, a belief highly acceptable to capitalism. Individual wound and social wound are not homologous but what they have in common is isolation.

Rimbaud’s poem ‘The Drunken Boat’ sums up a basic element of Leftist tradition: to break all moorings, the call to rebellion as radical subjective unbinding, the legacy of the Paris Commune gathered into that call, that cell of meaning. That Rimbaud got labelled a poète maudit was a manoeuvre of bourgeois literature, we know that. The boat lands in Africa and finds itself facing white men with firearms: subjective emancipation includes colonial violence. That’s the corrective to individualism. But the binding, undone, without new binding consisting of a changed social order—does it go where we need to go? Does it merely end up bending to a new master?

That seems to be more a question for those, like myself, who experienced 1968. ‘All things come into their comparisons’, Robert Duncan wrote in the nineteen sixties. Now everything seems to face its limit: not just emancipatory politics but ideas of the commons and the collective and of political will as such.

I’m not arguing for the abandonment of that tradition (you refer to people who have done that) but that our account of where we are should acknowledge the unmooring of ideas from their historical basis, right down to the linkage of words in their phrasing. I’m reminded of the slogan that headed an announcement of the recent International Workers’ Memorial Day. It said ‘Mourn for the dead. Fight for the living.’ It might have been better the other way round; then there wouldn’t have been the illusion of a place to fight from.

So, to mark some conditions that determine our situation: wars in Europe and the middle east; resurgence of oil and arms industries; postponement of any real, state-level action to resolve climate crisis; inability of states and ruling classes to guarantee survival; political chaos. These add up to time for new analysis, critique of inherited models for revolution—critique, for instance, of the thinking that assumed that the Soviet revolution constituted a necessary pathway for struggles in other places (but also critique of flat rejection of the Bolshevik experience), as well as critique of capitalist subjectivation in ourselves, including the production of isolation. I was going to write ‘the production of isolation and confusion’, but attributing confusion simply to action of the political enemy seems one-sided. A least, I sense that that a future MDR discussion of confusion might have to take that on.

Monday, May 15, 2023

Peace Report (TL)

This is a report on Report on stumbling across things in moments where peace no longer holds at all except perhaps as reported differences so shattered they can at least potentially be puzzled together again. It’s so obvious and indiscernible who is writing about what the disregard for individuation it makes the identification all the more troubling that is the wrong word, trouble, the wrong movement, identification. Better, the problem of deindividuation this is all plagiarized not all intimacy is an open book words and experiences enter and exit at will nothing belongs, you and we think to ourselves as another chance date opens a file on an all too familiar experience written by some somebodys we may or may not know. Correspondance can’t break down as it becomes redundant looks like a bygone from a time when writing was seen and said to come from a single thing with its capacity to single itself out for no longer single diffusion: the writing of the me thing. There’s no capacity for diffusion where there is no peace, where there are only more reports of shards of pieces proper nouns and psychotropics coursing ineffectively through the proverbial blood stream, the centralizing nervous system of the links their chains their unwanted associations they will continue to exist you aren’t capable of anything else which is not a style a form or a mood not an aesthetic claim it’s a little piece of you and you might be anyone you are never alone in the locked door of the apartment you are not alone inside your head and outdoors on the internet you become the not you of everyone else who is never alone especially when the reliable ones have gone, somewhere else, to a me world of administration and of bills and of knowing where me and you are stopgapped. There’s rumour that they exist. They have their ass out in your face in populous spaces with loud music where people pay to share a part of themselves like their ass in your face in the welfare room you sit down in to try to concentrate away the separation. It’s not the privatization of this experience that matters anymore. Old news. But no there is no stopgap no there is no point paying to compose in shared space you have plenty of company indoors in the apartment and outside on the internet. You open Report by mistake and it’s full of epigraphs and dedications and who cares whose words they are anymore we recognize the proper nouns others are everywhere for free in the report alone in the apartment we are outdoors on the internet there is no virus no ass in our body no difference between the pieces there is no peace there is work to be done the outdoors offers the words of others in the experience of a language which could be yours or ours it could be mine lol the proper nouns are the same the experience is so close to the triangle of minimum experience wage late and clear-cut a muddle of who is behind this and the wonder we enjoy the laughter, or worrying if this is making it worse. I have become so suspicious of the promise of comfort that I am not alone. There are people everywhere. Fears do not become less so by addition. But it’s impossible to stop. Reading, some of it sometimes in the wrong time always the wrong time you know in the apartment alone we are outside on the internet and there are others too they are so close yet you can handle you can touch and feel the experiences because no-one has their ass in your face in the welfare room in the paid ecology of people and music there is no ass out there on the internet alone in the apartment there’s osmosis of beauty and familiarity which is maybe making it worse although everything is in common gathered together in one tiny place where experiences shoot into your veins like estrangement falling into the other apartment from where the offer of something other than an ass has appeared like a report on an experience written by a clumsy doctor seizing the fundamentals while fudging the details if not the proper nouns. It isn’t, it also helps, it makes it possible to laugh. Medication, perhaps, how it always fails, how it knows only deferral how deferral is desolation how scared we are to have to ask when there will be peace enough to exit the outdoors on the internet and move outside without the speed of terror as it inevitably descends to populate the welfare room. If only this was a story of hedonism. If only this was not a practical report on why you and we why we and me on why outside is not safe like outdoors on the internet where you can be hurt and laugh with the others who are somewhere always in you not only when you seek them out they knock unannounced they speak through translucent repetition no one can know, everyone is already too everywhere for there to be perspective enough to know more than presupposition x, propadeutic y, absence z. Plug in there is not you and I or we there is no they or them or us. There is synchronism which destroys the point of the old subjects and it didn’t go according to the utopian plan the past evangelists of the moving beyond of things like subjects and egos ye those ones they thought presumably that fear was collective, confusing registers, category error, perhaps they weren’t fearful enough, so they had time to publish books. Now: don’t ignore everything that’s just been said but there is nothing as lonely as fear which fear the fear of never being alone on our own in the apartment fear for it all and for loved ones and yourself who cares. Rehabiltation does not mean anything bla bla we are all ill etc. No. This is not a book with an author and some publicity: there’s too much fear for it to be more than a piece Report. No thought went into this, there were no more heads in the apartments to be able to articulate like-minds but a stomach reacts to its surroundings and a stomach became a rock to defend against all that reality threatened. Gut ourself, become peace, report back.

Friday, May 12, 2023

DAY ONE / DAY TWO (Arturo Lima)

Raw Materials From Day One



You would write such a brilliant report out of this extra job

On the metro it’s early enough to have a seat
I woke up early enough to have coffee hence I read a book
At the station at the bottom of the line
secret agents
paranoid looks and suspicious suitcases / suits

Hallway revising clothes getting coffee
Getting to know the spectacle proletariat

I’m stopping this report to listen to the briefing
Given by the director’s assistant

Final scene
You need to know how to sing
a Bolero to be an extra
Plane mode no pictures thank you
You need to act but the acting is better if you try to look natural

Looking for Luca
A crowd in the face
Faces in the crowd
Crawling

Patrick is sitting aside of me
reading Houria’s bestseller
a communist interested in the WORST
who doesn’t care about winning elections
lyrical singer and actor
now and then
lifelong wages
No elections but welfare state pleas(e)

Very nice
I’m really happy
we
engaged in a conversation
while applauses / translation to new seats

We fill nothingness with complacency, obedience and a little patience
Still looking for Luca
Still looking / figuring
out the schemes the fuzzy logics

of the director / the production / the assistants / the technicians / the little hands

We help to fill nothingness
a couple of extras
and a little budget

Those tricks remain opaque
to my weary mind

I still can’t find Luca
nor his moustache

Second scene soon
let’s try to have a better look at the audience
phone back in the pocket
soon

I think I found Luca
but such an enthusiastic way of clapping
it must not be him really
Though I see a moustache
he is certainly somewhere else

Imagining what ? thinking what ?
writing another
report ?

People telling us what to do
waiting for people to tell us what to do
waiting for people to await something from us
trying to look like we are not giving a fuck
but what other fucks could we possibly give
once the day is sold
trying to obey
with common decency
as if we were free
but the day is sold
that’s the day

You would make such a brilliant extra in this job report
You would talk to people
more,
you would write more
discretely,
your phone wouldn’t be on plane mode
especially because they asked for it
you would have kept it working
just as it is

As far as I’m concerned,
even though we are not on a plane
plane mode
is the
plan

Sitting, not moving for a long long time
The brain drifting
far away
hopefully not too much

Actually the concert hall looks like a boat
the walls are wooden, crafted
a pouch
all of us extras with our tote bags
in the womb of the concert Hall
the Tod-Bag

A day of agony
I write better in agony

I write better during the day if it’s a day I’m not supposed to be writing at that time
in a language I’m not supposed to use
on a device so opposed to my whole conception of writing
I can’t help but write on it

In the meanwhile I found our friend
I can see him clearly now
just like me on the balcony
right at the left angle
3rd take soon
the screen light tires my eyes
phone in the pocket soon
I will try to know if I was right to assume
that he would be more phlegmatic

The woman aside of me
her head bent down
makes her look asleep

I feel very tired and bored
all the thoughts, the writing
it is all very tiring
but once a process is following its course…

Ouaf Ouaf

The feeling I get when we shoot the shot for the fifth time is akin to the sensation I’ve always had at the end of a theater play

Exhaustion/confusion

Is theater a way to experiment
the effect of 3 hour boredom in an armchair
without (maybe) noticing ?
Is cinema stageless theater
beautiful / pathetic extras
looking for someone to
pay attention to
their beauty, their charm, their unmistakable looks ?
who are you to pretend you are not one of them
looking for a little adventure out there
jean-pierre léaud longing for his
mom / his whore
a new start
something unexpected while your phone is on plane mode
when everything (the rest of it even) has been planned long before

You hear her say : handsome really
put him on the list he might be
interested
in small parts
Me : she talking about Luca ?

Why is it cheaper to have 250 extras
paid 115 a day for two days
instead of a 1000 extras
for half a day ?

We’re quietly setting the concert hall on fire
with time with patience
with boredom

« Faites-vous plaisir » says someone

I almost forget that I forget
I almost feel good
with my almost wet tissue
in my almost filthy jacket pocket
and I try not to sneeze
earlier I tried to have a walk
between two shots
only to discover we were locked in

I’ve been an extra
on extra hours
for approximately one hour
and there are more to come

You would write such a brilliant
report out of this extra job

On extra hours for two hours now

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

No writing today,
no reading either
Minerva’s howl
stays apart from concert halls


Selected Materials from Day 2

like long-forgotten states of consciousness
from the time when I used to travel
long distance
take coaches across continents
and pack whole countries with railway
go to school all day
read all night

I was trying to understand the virtue
of
doing nothing
since I was unable to
read or write

Since the batteries of this phone discharge so quickly
even on plane mode
and God knows I hate to be interrupted

I’ve been really extra an extra for all day
not even on the shots most of the time
except now
when I take my phone out of my pocket
maybe just because
from now on
not before
cameras could spot me
and reporting recovers the attraction of sthg forbidden

Did you know that you can live off as an extra
be an intermittent of the spectacle so to speak
if you make it once a week plus one afternoon to send your applications
If you are efficient
you are set for the smic
51 days a year
that’s the condition

Tatata Tatata tata
Tatata Tatatatatatatatatata

When we had lunch
At 4:45
A garage door was clicking
what to my ears seemed
the drums of the Bolero

I heard it clearly for the first time right before
all I could do was focussing
and count the beat
of the drummer’s stick
so helpless
so clumsy
so childish
in the middle of the night of the absurd
like a blind beggar’s stick in the alley
of a medieval town

First thing in the morning
staff asked me if I could stay a little longer tonight
I told it to Luca and Luca said :
maybe you were the beautiful guy

He smiled nicely

Are we finished ? Not yet but slowly getting there ?

I got my little epiphany
I almost forgot myself as I was clapping
Almost thought I was clapping really
after a really good concert
it was good to do something
to believe in doing something
instead of boredom
consciousness
disbelief

And I felt everyone was experiencing the same
we / were really good
better than the professional
from the French comedy
whom we really outperformed
in this last scene

A REAL audience
it felt good to
feel real

BRAVO / WOUHOU

No chapter read today but :
Oblivion

Selected materials after all I am not so selective
My battery is outlasting
its 1%

After that
I’ll meet my friend outside
We both were among the lucky 100
out of 250
to be asked to stay a little longer
for a final shot

Maybe we were both the beautiful guy

Maybe neither of us was

It is not the matter

For now we can’t know for sure…

Report on Paris in March / 'the banlieue could bury the capital' (LR)




March was an important month to clarify everything going on. Things really picked up the second week of March, and since the movement’s different parts and problems have come into a bit of a clearer view.

In January and February, and even the first week of March, we saw the biggest demonstrations in decades every week. However, these marches were totally reliant on the union calendar of strike days. The second week of March, however, piled up many different days of action, with a strike on Tuesday the 7th, International Women’s Day on Wednesday, a student day of mobilization on Thursday, a climate protest on Friday, and a France Insoumise march on Saturday.

This was an important week for the movement even outside of the demonstrations, because several sectors decided to extend their strikes beyond the days of action to real unlimited strikes. Among these sectors were, most importantly, the oil refinery workers and sanitation workers. These two sectors, as long as they held out, applied these threats of unlivable difficulty (the threat of fuel shortages and long lines at gas stations for the refinery workers, the threat of towering mountains of filth for the sanitation workers) on the country (but especially the Parisian metropolis, I think, because for several weeks different parts of the sanitation industry (incinerators, collectors, truck depots) all organized to block trash collection in much of Paris, and especially its richer neighborhoods. There were maps of these different workplaces on strike that showed Paris besieged by its banlieue, as if this banlieue could bury the capital under its own trash heap of history).

So this second week of March, there were 5 days of consecutive demonstrations. This felt like a real escalation. The massive marches were complemented by a renewed effort by unionized workers—and unaffiliated radicals—to block workplaces and important choke points on roads and railways. I went to see that week, for example, the morning opening of a bus depot and an attempted picket by a minority of workers supported by a group of maybe 50 other people. This kind of group (militant but minority workers supported materially and on the spot by unaffiliated radicals) would replicate itself at different transportation depots and sanitation sites in Paris throughout the month. This articulation of unionized workplaces in key sectors (in fact sectors so central that they would be requisitioned by the government because posing a threat to national security) with the radical “autonomous” (but really not autonomous from the Left at all, and that’s fine, in fact that is what has worked) militants succeeded, before that wave of requisitions, in intensifying the social movement on two fronts.

First, the connection between unionized labor and radicals may have been important in bringing about a wave of circulation blockades in the second half of the month of March. Peripheriques, highways, and roundabouts were occupied and blocked in several major cities and even in the countryside; this tactic, previously claimed by the yellow vests or “autonomists,” was propagated massively, across the whole country, through union networks. The blockade, and the interruption of circulation generally, have become widely regarded as the adequate forms of activism or struggle since March (like near Marseille, when the CGT occupied a freeway one morning and pushed back the cops by shooting fireworks and dropping things from overpasses). So: the March actions pushed forward a new form for this movement: unionized key sectors + radical militant support.

Second, the success of the Parisian sanitation strike also provided the actual material for the next escalation of the movement: garbage. In the particularity of this strike (that it happened to be sanitation workers that went on strike, and that the radicals happened this time to be able to keep successful pickets in front of incinerators and depots), there appeared these heaps of trash for the next phase of the movement. So. General development was in a sense formal: the connection between components of the movement (unions and radicals in support). The particular development in Paris was in a sense material: heaps of trash could be set on fire. Starting the third week of March, when the government invoked Article 49.3 of the 5th Republic’s constitution (allowing laws to be pushed through the Assemblée without a vote on the principle of parliamentary confidence), this accumulation of garbage went up in flames nearly every night for weeks. There was this kind of undoing of the metropolis: where before the city had seemed so impersonal and indifferent to massive demonstrations and marches, now the city seemed to shrink at night, streets seemed to get closer to one another, heaps of burning trash marking the traces of little groups of rioters. These groups were strikingly young. The fact that high school seniors across France also took their last exams for their baccalaureat that week probably helped to infuse the movement with a younger composition (a new group, the Mouvement d’Action des Lycées Autonomes, was only formed in April). Anyway, the government that week (March 16-24) went through a sort of political-executive crisis, and two votes of no-confidence were voted down with very small margins.

There has seemed to be a mismatch since March regarding the temporalities of the social movement. The conflict climaxed the week between the 16thand 23rd of March, where all the timing did line up: the biggest riots were the nights of the invocation of the 49.3, then the voting down of the vote of no confidence, and then the union day of action on the 23rd. But since then, government time and movement time have diverged again: the law has been enacted and the government sticks with its bet that contestation will slowly fade away. The radical parts of the movement, on the other hand, have continued as if things were not at all over. The high school student movement only coalesced in April, and groups online have called for a competition between cities for the most extreme forms of disobedience. In April, several nights of “casserolades” were called for by the France Insoumise but also gilets jaunes networks, and these gatherings in front of city halls around the country to bang on pots and pans often ended in manifestations sauvages. I really can’t tell for now how things will continue. As long as there is trash in Paris, I think the spectacular images will continue to circulate and give off the general impression that things can’t go on this way. I imagine that popular participation will wean progressively, but that punctual actions will continue through the summer. The 2024 Olympic Games also seem to provide a new calendar of struggle against urban development and gentrification. (There’s also this strange calendar Macron has given himself, 100 days to make things better? Vs 100 jours de zbeul) Still, I can also imagine how very probable it is that the government does just hold out and wait for things to pass, and this social movement will not have any real end date, just melt away.

Thursday, May 4, 2023

On denial


I have been trying to think about my feeling that it is getting harder to talk openly about the things that are happening to us. Does the feeling capture something true? What do I even mean when I say this? 

On reflection I think that my 'feeling' stands in for or congeals several related experiences: 

1) of a decline, in most of the channels that I can still access (first listservs, now also 'social media') of anything resembling 'political debate' or even extended discussion. These spaces all resemble bars just before closing time -- only the stragglers are left; most of them are talking to themselves etc.; 

2) of a more complex disintegration of many underground political and artistic communities. The feeling of people not speaking to one another anymore, or of work that continues, but with less and less sense of common or communal purpose (of course there are countertendencies); 

3) connected to (2), a loss of the sense that it is *worth* analysing broad-level political events, a sort of exasperation at the perceived obligation to be *able* to respond to, or to encompass and meaningfully address, the major events of any particular year or week, as the case may be. (The last time I felt a common movement of desire to respond in this way was in the early months of the Covid pandemic. Then responses were filtered into familiar 'pro-' and 'contra' positions and hardened into camps; then silence descends again);

4) more personally, and in a way that makes me distrust my own instincts, I feel a growing impatience with the thinking and the intellectual routines of 'my' culture. On the 'radical left' in particular, the prevailing intellectual 'phase' seems to be one of denial. In relation to Ukraine, I see friends and one-time influences either blatantly cherry-picking facts in order to support their obvious preferred conclusions, or else ignoring the war altogether, because thinking about it is painful and can't be operated upon with our preferred conceptual and practical 'tools'. This experience has produced a kind of paranoia. I find myself wondering how much of my own historical education has been guided by my desire to arrive at pre-determined conclusions. I feel ashamed of what I allowed myself to believe about Kosovo, Lybia, Syria (this also holds when my beliefs were 'agnostic' and not polemical). 

A friend writes to me: 'I have a sense that the existence of pro-rationalisers of Putin has been a profound shock to you.  I suppose it has not been so much for me, having been so shocked by the British “left” supporting Serbian fascists'.  

This was a useful phrase for me. I realised that the existence of 'pro-Putinism' *has* been a shock for me, that it's made me feel as if the ground has been pulled away from under my feet, that I am suddenly suspended in mid-air, that I have nothing to stand on and no base to which to return. It's more than a feeling of 'anger' or 'disappointment', because it is possible to feel angry and disappointed without feeling personally implicated. For the first time in my life, I do feel personally implicated. I no longer want to defend 'my tradition' against deviations; it is the tradition itself that feels corrupted and untrustworthy. Also the tradition is inside me, and I know neither how much of it is false nor what authority can accurately disclose this  

--Something deep inside you sustains an painful injury. You feel instinctively that it might not be fixed anymore. You can't tell yet *how much* is broken: You *know* that something has snapped, but you can't bring yourself to look directly. You still want to believe that it might be 'all in your head', so you continue to look away, and your body fills with adrenaline and this adrenaline is translated into panic or despair or fury directed against those who have betrayed you. But the injury is inside you, and you know that, eventually, you *will* have to look. Something's there.--  

I've felt like this now for more than a year. The feeling hasn't abated. I want to look now. 'I know' that in this period 100,000 soldiers have been blown to pieces and millions of people have had to permanently abandon their homes. I know how de rigueur and empty sentences like that have become. I originally wrote 'how fucking empty' but I no longer think empty signifiers of vengeful rage transmit any particular emotional content. 'I yell “Shit” down a cliff at the ocean. Even in my lifetime the immediacy of that word will fade. It will be dead as “Alas.”' What I do have is the urge to confess; and I want to understand why it is that it feels so difficult to talk to one another. 

***

I wanted to say something about the last time something like this happened. Between 2016 and 2018 we all observed a small group of friends and comrades translate their feelings of exclusion, shame and wounded narcissism into hatred of the 'community' of the radical left. It was a novel spectacle; we gossiped about it and tut tutted. We all knew that the emotional damage *came first* and the post-hoc intellectual apostasy only later. The period 2016-18 provided the perfect stage for this kind of intellectual theatre. But the stage keeps on getting wider and wider, and I'm not sure who is in the audience anymore. 

***

What does it feel like to look at an incurable wound? I realise that I'm recurring to two distinct metaphors here. I realise that my thinking is incomplete and liable to misunderstanding. I started this 'project' (this 'blog') because I wanted to try to create a space where we could talk about undecided and unsettled things in a language that is itself unsettled and undecided. I now know that that itself requires an expenditure of effort and sensitivity of which I am not always capable. I *feel* undecided. I also know how easy it is to say things that I don't mean, or that mean more than I mean to mean. And I know about opportunists and renegades and apostates.  

The first of the two metaphors I recur to is the metaphor of an outside. The emotionally damaged ex-leftists of 2016-18 talked about stepping outside all the time; they were obsessed with it, the language recurred like a leitmotiv in their writing, like a pole star, it was inescapable, it was almost poetic: 

--Something deep inside you sustains an painful injury. You *know* that something has snapped, but you can't bear to look at it directly. And you still want to believe that it might be 'all in your head', so you continue to look away, and your body fills with adrenaline and this adrenaline is translated into panic or sadness or fury directed against those who have betrayed you. But the injury is inside you, so you know that, eventually, you *will* have to look. Something's there.--  

but there is no outside to an injury. That's the whole reason why you're not able to look. You know that whatever you see, once you've see it, will be a part of you, that it will *be* you, for as long as you continue to live: and all that you can do is accept that internal reality or deny it, retreating deeper and deeper into a kind of hallucination, a beautiful dream, in which everything's OK and still pristine, and just like it originally was, undamaged, brand new, like a new toy, or a theory that has just opened your eyes. *Looking* means accepting that the wound is there, that it changes everything and that possibility for you will from now on have to be defined through the parameters that it establishes. *Not looking* means holding on to the possibility of the outside (of exteriority of injury to self) in its attenuated form as a kind of feverish denial: a dream valediction. Which do you choose? What can we do with this limb, this hour, this remnant, this fucked up tradition full of emotionally damaged people, this demi-language, etc.?    

And what is a theory of political action for someone who is (or equally, for a class of people who are) tortured, hunted, imprisoned, injured, or aphasic? Revolutionaries don't like to think about this, the preestablished outputs invalidate the inputs. The problem is relegated to 'poetry' and poetry regurgitates its usual reservoirs of generic panic and despair. How tasteless. Which metaphor do you prefer? 

That one must sacrifice coherence
to the incoherence of life, attempt a creator
dialogue, even if that goes against our conscience. 

That the reality of this small, stingy state
is greater than us, is always an awesome thing
and one must be a part of it, however bitter that is. 

*

I still don't think I'm putting any of this right. I'll post it anyway. Perhaps someone can correct me. What does Pasolini mean by 'creator / dialogue'? What does he mean by 'against our conscience'? What does he mean by 'our'? What does he mean by 'be a part of it'? What does he mean?  

'Report'

2001/2 – M Full five fathoms deep was your heart In the ruins of an ancient city Fish were eating what used to be your art Your good works...